Unspeakable Horror!

The limousine crosses the ocean of golden cornfields
while the cargo freighter crosses the icy Atlantic –
laden with medieval stone.

Something
dark forbidden forgotten
hides in the shadows of the cargo hold
with the deconstructed ramparts,
towers, dungeons,
and the boxes of unholy Transylvanian earth:
an insatiable shadow to corrupt the precious heartland.

The dot.com billionaire,
a prodigal son of rural Iowa,
stands up through the sunroof of the limousine
and surveys the future site of his gothic fantasy world.
His plan –
jumpstart the local economy with an unprecedented feat –
transplant Dracula's castle stone-by-stone to an Iowan cornfield,
just like London Bridge to Arizona.

The dot.com billionaire's seven adopted Chinese sons
arrive in a passenger van,
all wearing cheesy plastic fangs and black capes.
The eldest, twin brothers, oversee the creation of Dracula World.

Together, the seven sons interview the local farm kids
for jobs selling bloodred cotton candy,
conducting tours of the dungeon
and the wax museum of Hollywood Draculas
(complete with bona fide Bela Lugosi artifacts),
selling vampire masks with a straw-hole for sodapop sucking.

Soon the cranes are replaced
by the gothic towers
that cast shadows across the vast parking lot to the corn beyond.

Rumors of the three brides, Dracula's siren-bimbos
spread from employee to employee like a virus.

The twins discover the cotton candy operator beneath the counter –
drained like a juice pouch.

The seven brothers know something must be done.

At the back of the epic parking lot,
one of the dungeon tour guides gets ankleslashed
with a hairy claw and pulled beneath her Ford Truck.
Ancient Count sinks fangs into buxom Iowan cleavage

The amusement park closes until further notice.

The Chinese sons study-up on vampire killing,
pull on blue jeans
belt buckle
boots
hat (the works):
Chinese Cowboy Van Helsing brothers.

Here the music crescendoes.
Here we see our seven heroes
mow down Dracula's minions with the John Deere,
plunge silver pitchforks into vampires nesting beneath haystacks,
and overwhelm the trio of vampire/siren bimbos.

The shadow nemesis Count Dracula
gets skewered by the twins in a barnyard denouement
in time for the 4th of July re-opening celebration.
The brothers all find Iowan brides.
The park is saved
and credits roll
as fireworks explode
with the menacing gothic towers in the foreground
of this Iowan fantasy world.